In a shocking turn of events, all of the big banks have managed to pass the Federal Reserve’s stress tests this year. But hold your horses, folks, because it seems like the tests were a little less rigorous this time around.
According to Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell, the tests were modified to account for the economic impact of the ongoing pandemic. “We wanted to give the banks a fighting chance, you know?” Powell said with a wink. “We didn’t want to stress them out too much.”
But some critics are calling foul on this decision, claiming that the banks were let off the hook too easily. “It’s like giving a student an A for spelling their name right on a test,” said financial analyst Barry McMoneybags.
When asked for comment, the CEO of Bank of America, Brian Moynihan, simply replied, “We passed the stress tests with flying colors, but let’s be real, we could have done it blindfolded and with one hand tied behind our backs.”
Not to be outdone, J.P. Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon chimed in with, “We crushed those stress tests like it was nobody’s business. But honestly, we could have aced them in our sleep. It was child’s play.”
Meanwhile, Wells Fargo CEO Charlie Scamwell said, “We may have had a few hiccups in the past, but this time around, we showed those stress tests who’s boss. We’re on top of the world!”
In response to the criticism, Powell defended the decision to ease up on the stress tests this year. “Look, we’re all in this together,” he said. “We just wanted to give the banks a little pat on the back for surviving the chaos of the past year. Besides, who doesn’t love a good underdog story?”
So there you have it, folks. The big banks have once again come out on top, proving that when it comes to stress tests, they’ve got it in the bag. Just don’t ask them to do their taxes.
