In a shocking turn of events, Virginia sheriffs have come out swinging against Democratic challenger, John Doe, for his “criminals first” agenda. These sheriffs have made it clear that they are fully endorsing Jason Miyares for Attorney General, citing his tough-on-crime stance as the reason behind their fiery endorsement.
Sheriff Joe Smith from Smalltown County had this to say about John Doe’s controversial agenda: “I can’t believe this guy wants to put criminals first! What’s next, giving them free massages and pedicures in jail? It’s absurd!” Sheriff Smith went on to say that Jason Miyares is the only candidate who truly understands the importance of keeping our communities safe.
Not to be outdone, Sheriff Sally Johnson from Bigcity County added, “John Doe’s ‘criminals first’ agenda is a slap in the face to law-abiding citizens everywhere. We need someone like Jason Miyares who will stand up for justice and put criminals where they belong – behind bars!”
When reached for comment, John Doe defended his platform, stating, “I believe in giving second chances to those who have made mistakes. Criminals are people too, you know!” However, his words fell on deaf ears as the sheriffs doubled down on their support for Miyares.
In response to the endorsements, Jason Miyares issued a statement saying, “I am honored to have the support of Virginia’s hardworking sheriffs. Together, we will fight to make sure that criminals are held accountable for their actions and that our communities remain safe for all.”
As the race for Attorney General heats up, one thing is clear – the sheriffs are not messing around. With their passionate support for Jason Miyares, it seems that John Doe and his “criminals first” agenda may have a tough road ahead. Let’s just hope the criminals don’t get wind of this and start demanding more rights!
