In a shocking turn of events, team CEO of the San Francisco Giants, John Smith, has announced that controversial former baseball player Barry Bonds will be getting a statue outside the Giants’ ballpark. Yes, you heard that right! The man who was once the face of the steroid scandal in baseball will now be immortalized in bronze for all to see.
When asked about the decision, Smith responded with a straight face, “We believe that Barry Bonds deserves to be honored for his contributions to the team and the sport of baseball. Plus, we needed something to scare away the pigeons that keep pooping on our fans during games.”
Fans were quick to react to the news, with one fan, Sally McSally, stating, “I can’t believe they’re actually doing this! I mean, sure, Barry Bonds was a great player, but a statue? Really? What’s next, a statue of A-Rod outside Yankee Stadium?”
But the fun didn’t stop there. In a follow-up press conference, Bonds himself made a surprise appearance to thank the team for the honor. “I am truly humbled by this gesture,” Bonds said, trying to hold back tears. “I promise to stand perfectly still for eternity so that future generations can admire my giant head and even bigger ego.”
Of course, not everyone was thrilled about the news. Former Giants player and Bonds critic, Fake McFakerson, took to Twitter to express his outrage. “This is an absolute travesty! I demand that they erect a statue of me outside the ballpark instead. I may not have hit as many home runs, but at least I never juiced!”
As the controversy continues to swirl, one thing is for certain: Barry Bonds will soon have his very own statue outside the Giants’ ballpark. And who knows, maybe it will even come to life at night and hit a few home runs of its own. Only time will tell.
