In a shocking turn of events, New Mexico has announced a measles outbreak in a county detention facility. Yes, you heard that right – not even the inmates can escape the wrath of this pesky virus!
Authorities are scrambling to contain the outbreak, but it seems like they may have underestimated just how contagious measles can be in a confined space. Inmates are reportedly trading their last packs of ramen noodles for face masks, while guards are donning hazmat suits just to make their rounds.
In a statement released by the Department of Corrections, they assured the public that they are taking all necessary precautions to prevent the spread of the virus. However, one inmate, who we’ll call “Lucky Larry,” had this to say: “I ain’t worried about no measles, I’m more concerned about the fact that the food here tastes like cardboard. Can’t they quarantine the cafeteria instead?”
Meanwhile, inmate “Sneaky Steve” has reportedly been trying to profit off the outbreak by selling homemade vaccines made from crushed up Flintstones vitamins. When asked for a comment, he simply replied, “Hey, a man’s gotta make a living somehow. Plus, those grape-flavored chewables are a hit with the ladies.”
As the situation continues to unfold, it’s clear that this measles outbreak is no laughing matter. But hey, if you can’t find humor in a bunch of hardened criminals playing doctor with vitamin tablets, then what can you find humor in?
So, next time you’re feeling down about the state of the world, just remember that somewhere in New Mexico, inmates are swapping stories about their battle with the measles while trying to avoid getting shanked in the prison yard. And hey, if that doesn’t make you chuckle, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your sense of humor.
