In a shocking turn of events, the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) has revealed that a certain oil company failed to shut down a pipeline for nearly 13 hours after pressure dropped. The company, known for their questionable safety practices, has once again found themselves in hot water.
According to the NTSB report, the company, which shall remain nameless (but let’s just call them “Oil Spill Inc.”), ignored multiple warnings about the dropping pressure in their pipeline. When asked for comment, a spokesperson for Oil Spill Inc. simply stated, “Oops, our bad. We were too busy counting our profits to pay attention to silly things like pipeline safety.”
But it wasn’t just the company’s lackadaisical attitude towards safety that raised eyebrows. The NTSB also discovered that the CEO of Oil Spill Inc., who we’ll call Bob McMoneybags, was actually caught napping in his office while the pipeline was in crisis. When questioned about his nap, Bob was quoted as saying, “I was just resting my eyes! Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Well, Bob, the worst that could happen is a catastrophic oil spill that devastates the environment and puts countless lives at risk. But hey, who’s counting, right?
In a surprising twist, it was revealed that the company’s head of safety, who we’ll call Safety Sally, was actually fired for trying to sound the alarm about the dropping pressure. When asked for comment, Safety Sally said, “I guess Oil Spill Inc. prefers profits over people. Who knew?”
It seems that Oil Spill Inc. is once again living up to their reputation as the most incompetent and irresponsible oil company in the business. Let’s just hope that they learn their lesson this time before it’s too late. But hey, who are we kidding? We’ll probably be reporting on their next disaster before we know it.
