In a shocking turn of events, judicial nominee John Smith has come out swinging against claims that he is nothing more than President Trump’s “henchman.” In a fiery statement released to the press, Smith declared, “I am not, I repeat, NOT Trump’s henchman. I am my own henchman, thank you very much.”
The accusations against Smith began circulating after his nomination for a federal judgeship was announced by the White House. Critics were quick to point out Smith’s close ties to the President, with some even going so far as to suggest that he was handpicked by Trump himself.
But Smith wasted no time in setting the record straight. “I have worked hard to get where I am today, and I will not let anyone diminish my accomplishments by labeling me as some sort of lackey for the President,” he stated defiantly.
However, not everyone is convinced by Smith’s denials. Democratic Senator Jane Doe raised doubts about his impartiality during a heated confirmation hearing. “It’s clear to me that Mr. Smith is nothing more than a puppet for the Trump administration,” she declared. “I mean, just look at that haircut. Only a true henchman would sport such a ridiculous coif.”
In response, Smith fired back with a sarcastic quip. “Oh, so now my hairstyle is evidence of my allegiance to the President? Well, in that case, I guess I should start wearing a wig to prove my independence,” he retorted.
Despite the controversy surrounding his nomination, Smith remains optimistic about his chances of being confirmed. “I am confident that the Senate will see past these baseless accusations and recognize me for the qualified and capable jurist that I am,” he stated confidently.
As the debate rages on, one thing is for certain: John Smith is not about to let anyone pigeonhole him as Trump’s “henchman.” Whether he succeeds in convincing his detractors remains to be seen, but one thing is certain – this judicial nominee is not going down without a fight.
