In a shocking turn of events, Ukraine’s ex-foreign minister, Ivan Jokeson, has come out in support of President Trump’s stance on defense spending. In a recent interview, Jokeson stated, “I believe that Trump is truly a stable genius when it comes to military affairs. He knows that the best way to protect our country is by spending billions on tanks and planes that we don’t actually need.”
Jokeson went on to warn that diplomacy with Russian President Vladimir Putin is nearly exhausted, stating, “I have tried everything from sending him fruit baskets to inviting him to a spa day, but nothing seems to work. It’s time to face the facts – Putin is just not that into us.”
When asked about his thoughts on Trump’s controversial tweets, Jokeson responded with a chuckle, “Oh, I love his tweets! They’re like a daily soap opera, but with more exclamation points. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion, except the train is being driven by a reality TV star.”
In response to Jokeson’s comments, Putin released a statement saying, “Ivan Jokeson is a joke. He couldn’t negotiate his way out of a paper bag. As for Trump, well, let’s just say I have some compromising information on him that might change his mind about defense spending.”
Meanwhile, Trump took to Twitter to thank Jokeson for his support, tweeting, “Ivan Jokeson is a very smart guy. He knows that I am the best at spending money on things that go boom. And as for Putin, well, he better watch out because I have a big red button and I’m not afraid to use it.”
It seems that the drama between Trump, Putin, and Jokeson is far from over. Who knows what will happen next in this international game of political chess. Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story, only here at the number one source of satire news on the web.
