In a shocking turn of events, a New York Democrat has come forward to denounce mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani as “too extreme to lead.” The unnamed Democrat, who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of backlash, claims that Mamdani’s progressive policies are just a tad too radical for their liking.
“I mean, come on, free healthcare and education for all? That’s just too much,” the Democrat said. “We need someone who will maintain the status quo and not rock the boat too much. Zohran is just too out there for my taste.”
When asked for further clarification on what exactly makes Mamdani “too extreme,” the Democrat struggled to come up with concrete examples. “Well, he’s just too… passionate about helping people. We need someone who is a bit more… lukewarm about social justice issues,” they stammered.
In response to these accusations, Mamdani issued a statement saying, “I am proud of my progressive values and will not apologize for fighting for a more equitable New York City. If that makes me ‘too extreme,’ then so be it. I would rather be too extreme than too complacent.”
In a twist of fate, it was later revealed that the anonymous Democrat had ties to a rival mayoral candidate, Joe Schmoe. When confronted about this conflict of interest, the Democrat brushed it off, saying, “Oh, I just think Joe is a great guy who would make a fantastic mayor. It has nothing to do with me trying to sabotage Zohran’s campaign.”
As the race for mayor heats up, it seems that no amount of mudslinging can slow down Zohran Mamdani’s momentum. With his unwavering commitment to progressive values and tireless advocacy for social justice, it’s clear that Mamdani is a force to be reckoned with. So watch out, New York City, because Zohran Mamdani is coming for that mayoral seat, whether the establishment likes it or not.
