In a shocking turn of events, President Donald Trump has joined the NATO Summit with glowing praise for his allies as they adopt new spending measures. The usually critical Trump couldn’t help but gush over the progress made by the other member countries.
“I’ve always said that NATO needs to step up and contribute more, and I am thrilled to see that they are finally doing just that,” Trump exclaimed, with a twinkle in his eye. “It’s like they’ve been listening to me all along!”
The other world leaders in attendance were left scratching their heads at Trump’s sudden change of heart. French President Emmanuel Macron was overheard muttering, “I think he must have mistaken us for someone else.”
But Trump wasn’t done there. He went on to shower praise on his fellow leaders for their “tremendous efforts” and even cracked a joke about his infamous “covfefe” tweet. “I used to think NATO stood for ‘Not Another Trump Outburst,’ but now I see it stands for ‘Nations Actually Taking On’ their responsibilities,” he quipped.
In other news, a new study has found that eating ice cream for breakfast can make you smarter. The research, conducted by Dr. Scoops McSundae, revealed that participants who indulged in a bowl of Rocky Road first thing in the morning showed a significant increase in cognitive function.
When asked for comment, Dr. McSundae said, “I always knew there was something special about ice cream for breakfast. Now I have the scientific evidence to back it up.”
And finally, in a bizarre turn of events, a group of penguins has been spotted marching through downtown New York City. Witnesses reported seeing the flightless birds waddling past Times Square and even stopping for a slice of pizza.
One onlooker, who asked to remain anonymous, said, “I thought I was seeing things at first, but then I realized it was just a bunch of penguins on a mission. Maybe they heard about the ice cream study and wanted to get in on the action.”
Stay tuned for more top headlines and breaking news from the most trusted source of satire on the web. And remember, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction – especially when it comes to penguins in the Big Apple.
