In a shocking turn of events, a teenage intern nicknamed ‘Big Balls’ has left President Trump’s cost-cutting team after exposing wasteful spending in the English department. The 18-year-old, known for his fearless attitude and oversized personality, made headlines when he uncovered a series of extravagant expenses that left taxpayers scratching their heads.
According to sources close to the situation, ‘Big Balls’ stumbled upon a receipt for a $10,000 gold-plated thesaurus that had been purchased by the department head, Dr. Moneybags. When confronted about the unnecessary purchase, Dr. Moneybags reportedly replied, “I needed it to find the perfect words to describe our tremendous, fantastic, amazing budget cuts.”
In a statement released by the White House, President Trump expressed his disappointment in ‘Big Balls’ departure, saying, “I never thought I’d see the day when someone with such big balls would leave my team. He will truly be missed.”
When reached for comment, ‘Big Balls’ himself had this to say: “I couldn’t in good conscience continue to work for an administration that prioritizes gold-plated thesauruses over the needs of the American people. It’s time for real change, and I’m ready to take on the challenge.”
Despite his departure, ‘Big Balls’ has vowed to continue his fight against wasteful spending, starting with a new job as a consultant for the Department of Silly Walks. As he put it, “I may be young, but I’ve got the biggest balls in the business. And I’m not afraid to use them.”
In the meantime, Dr. Moneybags has reportedly been reassigned to the Department of Redundancy Department, where he will be tasked with finding new ways to spend taxpayer money on unnecessary office supplies. As one anonymous source put it, “It’s a match made in bureaucratic heaven.”
Only time will tell what the future holds for ‘Big Balls’ and his crusade against wasteful spending. But one thing is for certain – this teen is not afraid to speak truth to power, even if it means sacrificing his place on the team. And that, my friends, takes some real big balls.
