Las Vegas, Nevada – In a move that has left sports fans scratching their heads and wondering if they’ve accidentally stumbled into a parallel universe, the Las Vegas Athletics have announced the groundbreaking of their new $1.75 billion stadium project. Yes, you read that right – the Athletics, a team that doesn’t even exist, are apparently building a stadium in Sin City.
The announcement came as a shock to many, with one fan exclaiming, “I didn’t even know we had an Athletics team in Vegas! Are they like, a secret underground team or something?” Another fan added, “I thought the Athletics were a baseball team, not a football team. What’s going on here?”
Despite the confusion, team owner Bob Johnson (definitely not a real person) was all smiles at the groundbreaking ceremony. “We are thrilled to be bringing the Athletics to Las Vegas and building this state-of-the-art stadium for our fans,” Johnson said, dodging questions about where exactly the team has been hiding all these years.
The stadium project, which is set to include a retractable roof, luxury suites, and a giant swimming pool (because why not?), is expected to be completed in time for the start of the next NFL season. When asked about the exorbitant price tag, Johnson simply laughed and said, “Hey, go big or go home, am I right?”
Local residents have mixed feelings about the stadium, with one fake news outlet reporter jokingly asking, “Do we really need another stadium in Vegas? I mean, we already have like, a million of them.” Another resident quipped, “I can’t wait to see the Athletics play against the Las Vegas Unicorns. It’s going to be a real nail-biter!”
As construction on the stadium gets underway, one thing is for certain – the Las Vegas Athletics are here to stay, whether you like it or not. And who knows, maybe one day they’ll even win a championship. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, after all, this is Las Vegas we’re talking about.
