In a shocking turn of events, former ICE chief Thomas Homan recently warned President Biden that the border crisis could potentially be fueling an Iranian sleeper threat in the US. Yes, you heard that right folks, Iranians are apparently just waiting for their moment to strike from the comfort of their sleeper cells in the US.
When asked for a comment on this alarming revelation, Homan had this to say, “I’ve seen it all, folks. These Iranians are sneaky little devils, just biding their time until they can unleash their evil plans on the unsuspecting American public. We need to build a wall, a big beautiful wall, to keep them out!”
However, not everyone is convinced by Homan’s claims. One anonymous source within the Biden administration quipped, “Oh please, the only sleeper threat we have in this country is my cat who refuses to wake up for his breakfast. Iranians plotting against us? More like Iranians plotting their next Netflix binge.”
But the plot thickens as another unnamed source revealed that the real threat might not be from Iranians at all, but from a group of rogue raccoons who have been spotted crossing the border with suspicious-looking trash bags. “I’m telling you, those raccoons are up to something. They’ve been sneaking around at night, rummaging through garbage cans and plotting who knows what. We need to keep an eye on them,” the source said.
As the debate rages on about the true nature of the border crisis, one thing is for certain – it’s a wild ride out there, folks. So buckle up, keep your eyes peeled for any suspicious raccoons or Iranians, and remember to always take everything you read with a grain of salt (or maybe a whole shaker’s worth). Stay safe out there!
