In a shocking turn of events, Chaos ransomware has struck Optima Tax Relief, leaking a whopping 69GB of data. The chaos ensued as employees scrambled to contain the breach, with some even resorting to hiding under their desks in fear.
“We were just minding our own business, crunching numbers and helping people with their taxes, when all of a sudden our computer screens were taken over by a creepy message demanding bitcoin,” said a frazzled employee who wished to remain anonymous. “I never thought I’d see the day when tax relief and ransomware would collide.”
The leaked data reportedly includes sensitive information such as client tax returns, financial records, and even a spreadsheet detailing the office’s snack budget. “I can’t believe they would expose our snack preferences to the world like this,” lamented another employee, who goes by the name of Snackmaster Steve. “Now everyone knows I have a weakness for gummy bears.”
Optima Tax Relief CEO, Max Taxman, issued a statement assuring clients that their data was safe and that they were working diligently to resolve the situation. “Rest assured, we have the best IT team on the case,” Taxman proclaimed confidently. “We will not rest until we have rid our systems of this chaotic menace.”
In a surprising turn of events, the ransomware creators themselves reached out to the media with a message of their own. “We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused, but we couldn’t resist the temptation of all that juicy tax data,” said the self-proclaimed Chaos Mastermind, who goes by the alias Tax Evader Ted. “We promise to return the data unharmed in exchange for a lifetime supply of gummy bears.”
As the saga continues to unfold, employees at Optima Tax Relief are left wondering what other surprises the ransomware has in store for them. In the meantime, they have stocked up on gummy bears in preparation for any future demands from the Chaos Mastermind. Stay tuned for more updates on this chaotic tale of tax relief gone awry.
