In a shocking turn of events, the man arrested after the Utah ‘No Kings’ rally shooting has been released as the investigation continues. The suspect, who goes by the name of Joe Schmoe, was originally taken into custody after allegedly firing a Nerf gun at unsuspecting attendees of the event.
Witnesses at the rally reported that Schmoe was heard shouting, “Down with the monarchy! Long live the Nerf revolution!” before opening fire with his foam darts. The chaos that ensued left many with mild cases of laughter and a few minor bruises from the soft projectiles.
In a statement released by the police department, Chief John Smith stated, “We take these types of incidents very seriously, even if they involve toy guns. We are working diligently to uncover the true motive behind Mr. Schmoe’s actions.”
However, Schmoe’s lawyer, Bob Loblaw, insists that his client is innocent and was simply exercising his right to peaceful protest. Loblaw was quoted as saying, “My client was merely expressing his disdain for the monarchy in a non-violent manner. These charges are preposterous!”
In response to his release, Schmoe was seen celebrating outside the courthouse with a group of supporters. When asked for a comment on the situation, Schmoe replied, “I may be free now, but the fight against the monarchy is far from over. We will continue to protest until every last king and queen is dethroned!”
As the investigation into the ‘No Kings’ rally shooting continues, one thing is for certain – the foam darts of justice will continue to fly in the name of democracy. Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story, and remember to always keep your Nerf guns locked and loaded.
