In a shocking turn of events, Greenpeace has issued a dire warning about a potential environmental disaster looming near the Strait of Hormuz as two oil tankers collided in the early hours of the morning. The collision, which occurred in the notoriously busy shipping lane, has left experts scrambling to assess the extent of the damage.
In a statement released by Greenpeace spokesperson, Dr. Doolittle, he stated, “This is a catastrophic event that could have far-reaching consequences for the delicate ecosystem of the region. We urge all parties involved to take immediate action to prevent further environmental devastation.”
The two tankers involved in the collision have been identified as the SS Exxon Valdez and the SS Titanic II. The captain of the Exxon Valdez, Captain Crunch, has been quoted as saying, “I thought I was steering clear of trouble, but it seems I may have missed the mark. Whoops!”
Meanwhile, the captain of the Titanic II, Captain Hook, has denied any wrongdoing, claiming, “It was a classic case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I blame the GPS!”
Local authorities have been quick to respond to the incident, with the Coast Guard sending out a team of highly trained dolphins to assess the damage and assist in cleanup efforts. One of the dolphins, Flipper, was overheard saying, “This is the biggest mess I’ve seen since the Great Oil Spill of ’89. We’ve got our work cut out for us.”
As the world waits with bated breath to see how this situation unfolds, one thing is for certain – Greenpeace will be keeping a close eye on the developments, ready to pounce on any further environmental mishaps. Stay tuned for more updates on this breaking story, brought to you by the most trusted name in satire news on the web.
