**US Economic Growth Projected to Slow to 1.6% Amid Trump’s Trade Wars, According to OECD: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking revelation that has economists scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, the OECD has projected that US economic growth will slow to a staggering 1.6%. This news comes as no surprise to anyone who has been following the rollercoaster ride of the Trump administration’s trade wars, which have been more unpredictable than a cat on a hot tin roof.
“Honestly, I thought we were just going to start trading in Pokémon cards instead of actual goods,” said local economist and part-time magician, Dr. Albus Dumbledore. “At this rate, I might just start offering my services as a fortune teller. I see a future where we barter with avocado toast!”
Meanwhile, President Trump took to Twitter to express his thoughts on the matter, tweeting, “1.6%? More like 1.6% of a great economy! #FakeNews #MakeEconomyGreatAgain.” When asked for clarification, he added, “I’m just saying, if we can build a wall around our trade deficits, we’ll be fine!”
In a bizarre twist, the OECD’s report was interrupted by a press conference featuring a talking goldfish named Goldie, who claimed to have a better grasp on economic policy than the current administration. “I may be a fish, but at least I know how to swim away from bad investments,” Goldie quipped, sending the audience into fits of laughter.
As the nation braces for a future of slow growth, experts are advising everyone to invest in hobbies that require minimal economic input. “I’ve taken up knitting,” said local resident and self-proclaimed economic guru, Betty Knitsalot. “At least if the economy tanks, I’ll have a cozy sweater to keep me warm!”
So, as we prepare for a future of 1.6% growth, remember: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And when the economy gives you a slowdown, just knit a sweater and hope for the best!
