**Trump Intensifies Tariff Battle Following Second Court Defeat: “I’ll Tariff You Right Back!”**
In a move that has left economists scratching their heads and comedians rolling on the floor, former President Donald Trump has vowed to intensify his tariff battle after suffering a second court defeat. “I’m not just going to sit here and let the courts tell me what to do,” Trump declared at a press conference held in front of a giant inflatable taco. “I’ll tariff you right back! I’m thinking of tariffs on everything from French fries to French people!”
The court ruling, which Trump described as “the worst thing since the invention of kale,” has only fueled his determination to impose tariffs on anything that moves. “I’m considering tariffs on my own hair products,” he added, gesturing dramatically to his signature coif. “If they can’t handle my hair, they can’t handle America!”
Economists are baffled by Trump’s latest strategy. “It’s like watching a toddler throw a tantrum in a candy store,” said Dr. Ima Quack, a leading economist at the University of Nonsense. “He’s just throwing tariffs around like confetti at a wedding. Next, he’ll be charging tariffs on hugs!”
Meanwhile, Trump’s supporters are rallying behind him, with one enthusiastic fan, Bob “Tariff” McGee, stating, “If he wants to tax my tacos, I’m all in! I’ll pay any price for freedom and guacamole!”
As the tariff battle escalates, one thing is clear: Trump is ready to take on the world, one ridiculous tariff at a time. “I’m even thinking of tariffs on bad jokes,” he quipped, “but then I’d have to tax myself!”
