**Trump Administration Keeps Aging Power Plant Operational to Prevent Blackouts This Summer**
In a bold move that has left environmentalists scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists high-fiving, the Trump Administration has decided to keep an aging power plant operational this summer to prevent blackouts. The plant, affectionately dubbed “Old Sparky,” is known for its charmingly outdated technology and a distinct smell reminiscent of burnt toast and regret.
“Listen, folks, we can’t have people sweating in the summer heat,” said former President Trump during a press conference held in front of a giant inflatable sun. “What’s next? People fainting at the beach? We need power, and Old Sparky is like that one uncle who refuses to retire. He’s got a few good years left in him, believe me!”
Critics have raised eyebrows, claiming that keeping Old Sparky running is akin to using a rotary phone in the age of smartphones. “It’s like trying to charge your iPhone with a potato,” said environmental activist Greta Greenleaf. “Sure, it might work, but you’re going to have a bad time.”
Meanwhile, the Department of Energy has assured the public that Old Sparky is “perfectly safe” and “definitely not leaking anything.” Secretary of Energy, Chuck “The Shock” McGee, stated, “We’ve got duct tape and a prayer holding this thing together. What could possibly go wrong?”
In a surprising twist, the administration has also announced plans to host a summer festival at the power plant, featuring live music, food trucks, and a “Guess That Fume” contest. “It’s going to be huge,” boasted local event planner, Sunny Dayz. “We’re even giving away free fans to the first 100 attendees!”
As summer approaches, citizens are left wondering if they’ll be basking in the glow of Old Sparky’s warm embrace or if they’ll be left in the dark, contemplating their life choices. One thing is for sure: if the lights go out, at least they’ll have a great story to tell about the summer of 2023—the year Old Sparky became the life of the party.
