**Iran Criticizes Austria for Report on Advanced Nuclear Weapons Program: “We’re Just Trying to Make a Really Big Firework!”**
In a shocking turn of events, Iran has officially criticized Austria for its recent report suggesting that the Islamic Republic is developing an advanced nuclear weapons program. Iranian officials were quick to respond, claiming that the report was “as accurate as a blindfolded archer at a carnival.”
Iran’s Foreign Minister, Javad Zarif, held a press conference where he stated, “We are not building nuclear weapons! We are simply trying to create the world’s largest firework display for the upcoming Nowruz festival. You know, the kind that makes your neighbors question their life choices.” He added, “If we wanted to build a bomb, we’d just ask North Korea for their recipe. Have you seen their fireworks? They’re spectacular!”
In a bizarre twist, Austria’s Chancellor, Karl Nehammer, responded by saying, “We’re just trying to keep the peace here. I mean, have you seen our schnitzels? They’re not even nuclear, and they’re already explosive!” He then proceeded to offer Iran a peace treaty in the form of a giant pretzel, claiming it was “the only thing that could possibly defuse the situation.”
Meanwhile, a local Iranian citizen, who wished to remain anonymous, chimed in, “Honestly, if we wanted to build a bomb, we’d just use the leftover ingredients from our last kebab night. Have you seen how much we can cook up? It’s a culinary explosion!”
As tensions rise, one thing is clear: both nations are committed to their respective traditions—Austria with its schnitzels and pretzels, and Iran with its fireworks and questionable cooking experiments. In the end, it seems that the only thing they can agree on is that nobody wants to be the one to clean up the mess after the party.
