**Increasing Arrests of Friends and Family of New Orleans Fugitives for Jail Escape Assistance: A Family Affair!**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the Big Easy scratching its head and shaking its head in disbelief, the New Orleans Police Department has reported a staggering increase in arrests of friends and family members of fugitives for assisting in jail escapes. Apparently, helping your cousin escape from the clink is the new family bonding activity, right up there with Sunday gumbo and second-line parades.
Local resident and self-proclaimed “escape artist” expert, Earl “The Great Houdini” Johnson, was quoted saying, “I thought helping my brother escape was a family tradition! I mean, we’ve been doing it since Uncle Larry tried to break out of the family reunion in ’98!” Earl was arrested last week after attempting to smuggle a cake with a file into the local jail, which he claimed was “just a really big birthday surprise.”
Meanwhile, Aunt Gertrude, who was caught trying to bribe a guard with her famous jambalaya, exclaimed, “I just wanted to make sure my baby boy had a taste of home! What’s a little seasoning between family?” Authorities were not amused, and Gertrude now faces charges of “culinary conspiracy.”
In a bizarre twist, the NOPD has launched a new campaign titled “Family First, Jail Last,” encouraging relatives to think twice before aiding and abetting their loved ones in escape attempts. Officer Mike “The Family Man” Thompson stated, “We get it, family is everything. But maybe don’t help your cousin escape unless he’s got a solid plan—like a getaway car that doesn’t run on fumes.”
As the arrests continue to pile up, one thing is clear: in New Orleans, the only thing more resilient than the spirit of the city is the determination of its families to keep their loved ones out of jail—preferably with a side of gumbo. So, if you’re planning a family reunion, remember: leave the jailbreak plans at home and bring an extra pot of jambalaya instead!
