**DOGE Saves Over $5 Million by Eliminating Thousands of Unused Software Licenses: A Tail of Fiscal Responsibility**
In a groundbreaking move that has left financial analysts scratching their heads and dog owners barking with joy, the cryptocurrency DOGE has reportedly saved over $5 million by eliminating thousands of unused software licenses. Yes, you read that right—while most companies are busy hoarding licenses like they’re Pokémon cards, DOGE decided to take a more canine approach: sniffing out the dead weight.
“Why pay for software that no one uses?” said Shiba Inu CEO, Bark Zuckerberg, in a press conference held in a dog park. “We realized that our employees were using about as many software licenses as a cat uses a litter box—only when absolutely necessary.”
The decision came after a thorough audit revealed that the company had been paying for licenses for programs like “Microsoft Bark” and “Adobe Woof,” which were apparently only used by one intern who thought he was downloading a game. “I thought I was getting ‘Adobe Woof’ for my dog’s Instagram,” said intern Timmy “The Pup” Johnson. “Turns out it was just a fancy way to make my selfies look like I’m in a dog park.”
In a shocking twist, the savings were immediately reinvested into a new initiative called “Bark to the Future,” which aims to develop a time machine that will allow DOGE to go back to 2013 and buy more Bitcoin. “We’re not just saving money; we’re making history,” said Bark Zuckerberg, wagging his tail with excitement.
Critics, however, are barking up the wrong tree. “This is just a publicity stunt,” said renowned financial analyst and cat enthusiast, Felicia Feline. “Next, they’ll be telling us they’ve invented a dog that can code.”
But for now, DOGE is riding high on its newfound wealth, proving that sometimes, the best way to save money is to unleash your inner dog and stop chasing after unnecessary software licenses. As Bark Zuckerberg put it, “Why fetch when you can save?”
And with that, the world waits to see what this clever canine will do next—perhaps a line of chewable software licenses? Only time will tell!
