**County Executive Criticizes Trump Administration for Sanctuary Jurisdiction Designation: “We’re Not Even Sanctuary, We’re Just Really Chill!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation scratching its head and wondering if they accidentally tuned into a reality show, County Executive Bob “The Builder” McFluffernutter has publicly criticized the Trump Administration for designating his county as a “sanctuary jurisdiction.” McFluffernutter, known for his impressive collection of Hawaiian shirts and his uncanny ability to make a mean piña colada, stated, “We’re not a sanctuary! We’re just really chill! I mean, have you seen our annual ‘Relaxation Festival’? It’s all about yoga and smoothies!”
The designation came after the county’s decision to allow residents to keep their lawn flamingos without fear of deportation. “We believe in freedom of expression,” McFluffernutter explained, “and if that means letting a plastic bird live its best life on a front lawn, then so be it!”
In a press conference that was more like a beach party, McFluffernutter was flanked by local residents wearing leis and sipping coconut water. “I don’t even know what a sanctuary jurisdiction is,” said local resident and self-proclaimed ‘Flamingo Whisperer’ Linda “The Bird Lady” Featherbottom. “But if it means I can keep my flamingos and my margaritas, I’m all in!”
The Trump Administration responded with a tweet that read, “Sanctuary? More like ‘Sanctuary of Bad Decisions!’ #FakeNews.” Meanwhile, McFluffernutter is planning a “Sanctuary Celebration” next month, where attendees can enjoy free tacos, live music, and a flamingo costume contest. “We’re not hiding anyone,” he added, “unless you count my cousin Larry, who’s been ‘hiding’ from his ex-wife for three years now.”
As the nation watches this bizarre saga unfold, one thing is clear: in McFluffernutter’s county, the only thing that’s truly sanctuary is the laid-back vibe and the questionable fashion choices.
