**Global Heat Surge: Half of Humanity Faces Extra Month of Extreme Temperatures Due to Climate Change, Experts Warn**
In a shocking revelation that has left half of humanity sweating profusely, climate experts have announced that we’re all in for an extra month of extreme temperatures. Yes, folks, pack away your winter coats and grab your sunscreen—because summer is now officially a year-round affair!
Dr. I.C. Melting, a leading climate scientist, stated, “We’ve crunched the numbers, and it turns out that climate change is like that one friend who overstays their welcome at a party. You think they’re leaving, but then they just keep asking for more snacks.”
As temperatures soar, many are left wondering how to cope. “I used to complain about the heat, but now I’m just grateful I can fry an egg on my sidewalk,” said local resident Sunny Sideup. “I’m thinking of starting a new trend: sidewalk omelets. Who needs brunch when you can have ‘brunch on the run’?”
Meanwhile, fashion experts are predicting a surge in sales of ice cream cone hats and popsicle-shaped sunglasses. “It’s all about staying cool while looking hot,” said fashion guru Fanny Freeze. “If you can’t beat the heat, at least look fabulous while you’re melting!”
In response to the impending heat wave, governments worldwide are considering new policies. “We’re thinking of introducing mandatory siestas,” said politician Lou Natic. “If we can’t beat the heat, we might as well nap through it!”
So, as we brace ourselves for this extra month of sizzling temperatures, remember: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And when life gives you extreme heat, well, just make sure to wear sunscreen and keep a fan handy—preferably one that runs on ice cubes!
