**Armed and Dangerous: Texas Inmate Escapes from Psychiatric Hospital**
In a plot twist that could only be described as “Texas-sized,” an inmate at the Texas State Psychiatric Hospital has successfully escaped, leaving authorities scratching their heads and the local armadillo population in a state of panic. The inmate, identified as “Crazy Carl” McGee, reportedly made his daring escape by disguising himself as a giant cactus. Witnesses claim he waddled out of the facility, arms raised in the air, shouting, “I’m just here for the free hugs!”
Hospital staff were alerted to the escape when they noticed that the cactus in the courtyard was suddenly missing its “Do Not Touch” sign. “We thought it was just a really enthusiastic art installation,” said Nurse Betty Lou, who was busy knitting a sweater for her pet iguana at the time. “Turns out, it was Carl all along!”
Authorities are now on high alert, warning residents to be on the lookout for a man dressed as a cactus, armed with nothing but a questionable sense of humor and a penchant for karaoke. “He’s dangerous,” said Sheriff Bob “The Bounty Hunter” Jenkins. “Last time he sang ‘I Will Survive’ at the local bar, half the patrons fled in terror.”
In a bizarre twist, Carl has since taken to social media, posting selfies with the caption, “Just a cactus trying to blend in! 🌵 #Freedom.” Friends and family are reportedly concerned, with his mother stating, “I always knew he was a little prickly, but this is just ridiculous!”
As the search continues, local businesses are advised to keep their doors locked and their margaritas close. “We’re just trying to keep the peace,” said local bartender Juanita, “but if he shows up for karaoke night, I’m charging him double!”
Stay tuned for updates on this wild cactus caper, and remember: in Texas, even the inmates have a flair for the dramatic!
