**Trump Claims ‘Mental Anguish’ After CBS Interview, Lawyer Says He’s Now a ‘Sensitive Soul’**
In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has reportedly experienced “mental anguish” following his controversial CBS News interview, according to his lawyer, Melvin “The Mind Reader” McGuffin. Sources close to Trump say he’s been “deeply affected” by the interview, which he claims was “more traumatic than losing a golf match to Joe Biden.”
“Donald is a sensitive soul,” McGuffin stated while wearing a tinfoil hat to protect his thoughts from being stolen by aliens. “He’s been crying into his golden toilet, and it’s not just because he saw his reflection. He’s really struggling with the idea that people might not think he’s the best at everything.”
Witnesses report that Trump has taken to tweeting in all caps about his “emotional turmoil,” claiming, “I’ve never felt this way since the last time I lost a game of Monopoly to Melania. It’s like they’re all out to get me!”
In a bizarre twist, Trump has also begun attending therapy sessions with Dr. Phil, who reportedly told him, “You can’t just build a wall around your feelings, Donald.” Trump responded, “But I built a wall around Mexico! It worked!”
Meanwhile, McGuffin has announced plans to launch a new line of “Trump Therapy” products, including stress balls shaped like the former president’s head and a self-help book titled “How to Be a Winner in Your Own Mind.”
As the nation watches this saga unfold, one thing is clear: if mental anguish were a sport, Trump would be the undisputed champion.
