**France Bans Smoking in Parks and Beaches: A New Era for Public Spaces**
In a bold move that has left the world gasping for air (and not just from secondhand smoke), France has officially banned smoking in parks and on beaches. The decision, which has been hailed as a “revolutionary step towards a smoke-free baguette,” is set to transform the way Parisians enjoy their leisurely strolls and sunbathing sessions.
“Finally, I can enjoy my croissant without the taste of ash,” exclaimed local resident Jean-Claude Puff, who has been fighting for cleaner air since 1998. “Now, if only they could ban the smell of unwashed tourists, we’d be in business!”
The ban, which is expected to take effect immediately, has sparked a wave of creativity among the French populace. Smokers are reportedly considering new hobbies, such as knitting or extreme ironing, to fill the void left by their beloved cigarettes. “I never thought I’d see the day when I’d have to choose between my nicotine fix and my right to enjoy a sunny day at the beach,” lamented chain-smoker and aspiring mime, Pierre LeFume. “But I guess I’ll just have to start smoking my baguettes instead.”
In a surprising twist, the ban has also led to the rise of a new underground market for “smoke-free” cigarettes, which are actually just sticks of celery. “They’re crunchy, refreshing, and you can even dip them in hummus!” said self-proclaimed health guru and part-time mime, Brigitte Green. “It’s the perfect way to get your daily dose of vitamins while still looking cool!”
As the sun sets on this new era of public spaces, one thing is clear: France is ready to embrace a future where the only thing that’s lit is the Eiffel Tower. So grab your celery sticks and prepare for a smoke-free summer, because in France, the only thing that should be puffing is the pastry!
