**Senate Republicans to Hold Hearing on Allegations of Biden’s Cognitive Decline Cover-Up: A Comedy of Errors**
In a move that has left the nation both bewildered and chuckling, Senate Republicans have announced they will hold a hearing to investigate allegations that President Biden’s cognitive decline is being covered up by a secret cabal of squirrels. Yes, you read that right—squirrels.
Senator Chuck “Nutty” McFumble, who is leading the charge, stated, “We have credible evidence that these furry little critters are not only stealing our acorns but also our democracy! If they can hide nuts, what else are they hiding?” When pressed for details, McFumble added, “I saw a squirrel wearing glasses once. I’m convinced it was reading Biden’s speeches.”
The hearing, titled “Operation Nutcracker: The Squirrel Conspiracy,” is expected to feature a star-studded lineup of witnesses, including a local park ranger who claims to have seen Biden “talking to a tree” and a self-proclaimed “squirrel whisperer” named Bob “Nutty Buddy” Thompson, who insists he has been in contact with the President’s “squirrel advisors.”
In a bizarre twist, former President Trump tweeted, “I always said Biden was nuts, but now we know it’s the squirrels! #SquirrelGate.” Meanwhile, Biden’s team has responded with a statement that simply read, “We’re not nuts, you are!” followed by a picture of a squirrel wearing a “Biden 2024” hat.
As the nation gears up for this unprecedented hearing, one thing is clear: whether it’s a cover-up or just a case of too many acorns, the only thing we can count on is that the circus is just getting started. Stay tuned for more updates from the front lines of the Great Squirrel War!
