**Texas Social Media Restrictions for Minors Lose Steam: “We Just Wanted to Keep Them Off TikTok!”**
In a shocking turn of events, Texas lawmakers have decided to let their ambitious plans to restrict social media access for minors fizzle out faster than a soda left open at a barbecue. As the deadline approached, the bill, which aimed to keep kids off platforms like TikTok and Instagram, lost momentum quicker than a cowboy on a bucking bronco.
Senator Chuck “No Filter” McGraw, who spearheaded the initiative, was seen at a local diner lamenting the bill’s demise. “We just wanted to keep the kids off TikTok! I mean, have you seen those dance challenges? I can’t even do the Macarena without pulling a hamstring!” he exclaimed, while attempting to demonstrate the “Renegade” dance and accidentally knocking over a plate of nachos.
Meanwhile, local teenager and self-proclaimed TikTok influencer, Bella “The Filter Queen” Johnson, expressed her relief. “I was worried I’d have to go outside and, like, talk to people. Ugh! I can’t even remember the last time I saw the sun without a filter!” she said, while simultaneously filming a TikTok about the dangers of sunlight.
In a surprising twist, Governor Greg Abbott, who initially supported the bill, was spotted at a local coffee shop scrolling through Instagram. “I thought we were supposed to be banning this stuff?” asked a confused barista, to which Abbott replied, “I’m just doing some ‘research’ for the next bill. You know, for the children!”
As the dust settles on this legislative rodeo, it seems that Texas will continue to let minors roam free on social media, much like a herd of wild longhorns. “At least they’re not out there trying to lasso a TikTok dance,” chuckled local rancher and part-time meme creator, Earl “The Meme Machine” Jenkins. “Now that’s a sight I’d pay to see!”
So, for now, Texas kids can keep scrolling, swiping, and sharing their way through the digital frontier—at least until the next legislative session, when lawmakers will undoubtedly try to ban something else equally as important, like avocado toast.
