**Harvard Graduation: Navigating Trump’s Funding Cuts and Challenges for International Students**
In a stunning turn of events, Harvard University’s graduation ceremony this year was less about caps and gowns and more about caps and “how to survive on instant ramen.” With President Trump’s funding cuts hitting harder than a hangover after a 24-hour study binge, international students are now facing the ultimate challenge: graduating without a safety net—or a safety net made of actual safety.
“Honestly, I thought I was just here for the degree,” said international student and self-proclaimed ramen connoisseur, Chen “Noodle” Wang. “But now I’m also a financial expert. I can tell you how to stretch a dollar like it’s a yoga class.”
As students donned their caps, many were also seen wearing makeshift helmets made from old textbooks, a precautionary measure against the impending doom of student debt. “I’m just trying to protect my brain from the crushing weight of reality,” said Sarah “Debt-Free Dreamer” Johnson, who is now considering a career in interpretive dance to pay off her loans.
Meanwhile, Harvard’s administration has taken a bold step to address the funding crisis by introducing a new major: “Survival Studies.” “We’re teaching students how to barter with their degrees,” said Dean of Students, Dr. Ima Joking. “For example, if you can’t afford rent, just offer your roommate a PhD in ‘How to Avoid Adulting.’”
In a shocking twist, the graduation speaker this year was none other than a cardboard cutout of Trump himself, who delivered a riveting speech on the importance of “making America great again” while simultaneously cutting funding for everything that makes America great. “I love Harvard! It’s like a big, fancy high school,” the cutout said, as students collectively rolled their eyes.
As the ceremony concluded, graduates tossed their caps into the air, but many were left wondering if they’d ever see them again—much like their financial aid. “At least I’ll always have my ramen,” Chen sighed, as he prepared to navigate the treacherous waters of adulthood with nothing but a degree and a lifetime supply of instant noodles.
In the end, Harvard graduates are not just leaving with diplomas; they’re leaving with a PhD in resilience, a minor in ramen economics, and a master’s degree in dodging reality.
