**Trump Grants Clemency to Prominent Political Donor in Latest Decision: “I Just Wanted to Make America Gravy Again!”**
In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists reaching for their tinfoil hats, former President Donald Trump has granted clemency to prominent political donor and self-proclaimed “Gravy King” Chester “Chester the Jester” McFlapjack. McFlapjack, who once donated a staggering $5 million to Trump’s campaign in exchange for a lifetime supply of ketchup, was serving a 10-year sentence for “excessive cheeseburger enthusiasm” and “unlawful condiment distribution.”
“I just wanted to make America gravy again!” Trump declared at a press conference, flanked by a bewildered McFlapjack, who was wearing a suit made entirely of bacon. “Chester is a great guy. He’s like a human Swiss Army knife, but instead of tools, he’s got sauces. And who doesn’t love sauces?”
Critics have been quick to point out the questionable nature of the clemency, with one anonymous source claiming, “This is just another example of the rich getting richer and the rest of us getting… well, less gravy.” Meanwhile, McFlapjack celebrated his newfound freedom by hosting a “Freedom Feast” in his backyard, featuring a 20-foot-long hot dog and a dunk tank filled with ranch dressing.
When asked about his plans now that he’s free, McFlapjack replied, “I’m just going to keep spreading the good word of gravy and maybe run for mayor of Flavortown. I hear Guy Fieri is backing me!”
As the nation watches this bizarre political circus unfold, one thing is clear: in the world of Trump, anything is possible—especially if it involves a side of fries.
