**Karen Read Defense Challenges Crash Expert on $400K Fees and Testing Techniques: A Collision of Comedy and Chaos**
In a courtroom drama that could only be scripted by the universe’s most mischievous screenwriter, the defense team for Karen Read has taken a bold stand against a crash expert whose fees are higher than a giraffe on stilts—$400,000, to be exact. The expert, Dr. Crashington McBump, has been called to testify about the intricacies of vehicular collisions, but the defense is more interested in his billing practices than his crash analysis.
“Four hundred grand? For that price, I expect him to personally reenact the crash with a live-action performance,” quipped Karen’s attorney, Bob “The Bargain Hunter” Smith. “I mean, if I’m paying that much, I want popcorn and a front-row seat!”
Dr. McBump, who claims to have a PhD in “Bumpology” from the University of Crashlandia, defended his fees by stating, “You can’t put a price on safety! Well, actually, you can, and it’s $400,000. But that’s just the cost of expertise!”
The courtroom erupted in laughter when Karen’s team challenged Dr. McBump’s testing techniques, which reportedly involved a series of crash tests using nothing but a shopping cart and a bag of marshmallows. “I’m not saying he’s unqualified,” said Karen, “but I’ve seen better science experiments in my kid’s kindergarten class.”
As the trial continues, the defense is reportedly considering hiring a second expert, Dr. Fender Bender, who charges only $200,000 but comes with a complimentary set of crash test dummies—one of whom is named “Bobby the Bump.”
In a shocking twist, Karen herself has offered to settle the case by hosting a bake sale, promising that all proceeds will go toward “not paying Dr. McBump.” “I make a mean chocolate chip cookie,” she declared, “and they’re way cheaper than a crash expert!”
As the courtroom antics unfold, one thing is clear: whether it’s a crash or a comedy, Karen Read’s defense is determined to make this trial a smash hit!
