**Man Arrested for Allegedly Assaulting Flight Attendant on American Airlines Flight: DOJ**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the aviation world reeling, a man was arrested for allegedly assaulting a flight attendant on an American Airlines flight. Witnesses say the incident began when the man, identified as “Captain Chaos,” reportedly became irate after being served a “mystery meat” sandwich that he claimed was “more mysterious than my last Tinder date.”
According to the Department of Justice, the altercation escalated when Captain Chaos attempted to “upgrade” his meal by throwing a half-eaten bag of peanuts at the flight attendant, who was simply trying to do her job. “I just wanted to know if I could get a side of ‘not this’ with my sandwich,” he allegedly shouted, before launching into a passionate monologue about the virtues of in-flight sushi.
Flight attendant Sarah “The Sandwich Slayer” Johnson, who bravely defended her culinary honor, responded with a swift “That’s not how this works!” before deploying the emergency exit row as a makeshift shield. “I’ve seen some crazy stuff in my years of flying, but this was next level,” she said, still clutching her sandwich like a trophy.
Witnesses reported that Captain Chaos was last seen attempting to negotiate with the pilot for a “free upgrade to first class” in exchange for his “expert opinions on airline cuisine.” “I just wanted to help them improve their menu,” he later claimed in a statement, adding, “I’m basically a food critic now.”
As the plane landed, authorities were waiting with handcuffs and a complimentary “Do Not Fly” sticker. “We take in-flight safety very seriously,” said Officer Bob “Sky Cop” McFly. “Next time, he should just stick to the peanuts.”
In a final twist, Captain Chaos was released on bail after promising to never fly American Airlines again—unless they start serving gourmet meals. “I’m just trying to elevate the in-flight dining experience,” he said, as he was escorted away, leaving behind a legacy of culinary chaos and a very confused flight crew.
