**Alaska Hit by Atmospheric River as Summer Cruise Season Kicks Off: Tourists Now Required to Bring Life Rafts**
In a shocking turn of events, Alaska has been hit by an atmospheric river just as the summer cruise season kicks off, leaving tourists scrambling for their flotation devices and waterproof sunscreen. The National Weather Service has confirmed that the atmospheric river, which sounds like a fancy name for a water park ride, is actually a serious weather phenomenon. However, locals are taking it in stride, with one resident, Bob “The Iceberg” Johnson, quipping, “I always wanted to see the glaciers up close. Now I can just swim to them!”
Cruise lines are reportedly thrilled with the unexpected weather, as it has transformed their standard “Breathtaking Views” tours into “Breathtaking Views While Treading Water” excursions. Captain Sally Seafoam of the SS Wet N’ Wild stated, “We’ve always prided ourselves on offering a unique experience, but this is next-level. Who needs a lifeboat when you can have a hot tub filled with sea cucumbers?”
Meanwhile, tourists are being advised to pack accordingly. “Forget the sunscreen and flip-flops,” said travel expert and part-time mermaid, Coral Reef. “You’ll want to bring a snorkel, a wetsuit, and maybe a kayak. And don’t forget the snacks! You can’t paddle on an empty stomach!”
As the cruise ships set sail into the deluge, one optimistic tourist, Larry “The Lifeguard” Thompson, declared, “I came to see the Northern Lights, but I guess I’ll settle for the Northern Floods!”
In a final twist, the Alaska Tourism Board has announced a new slogan: “Alaska: Where the Weather is as Unpredictable as Your Uncle Larry’s Dance Moves at Family Reunions.” So grab your life jackets and prepare for the wettest summer yet—because in Alaska, it’s not just the glaciers that are melting!
