**Alaska Soaked by Atmospheric River as Summer Cruise Season Kicks Off: Tourists Now Required to Bring Life Rafts**
In a shocking turn of events, Alaska has been drenched by an atmospheric river just as the summer cruise season kicks off, leaving tourists wondering if they should pack sunscreen or scuba gear. The National Weather Service has confirmed that the state is experiencing a deluge so intense that even the moose are considering a vacation to the Bahamas.
Local tour guide and part-time rain enthusiast, Bob “The Waterlogged” Johnson, stated, “I’ve never seen anything like this! I mean, I thought I was just going to show people some glaciers, not give them a free swim lesson!” Bob has since updated his tour itinerary to include “Glacier Kayaking” and “Paddleboarding with Polar Bears,” which he insists is a “once-in-a-lifetime experience.”
Meanwhile, cruise lines are scrambling to adapt. The SS Titanic II, a cruise ship that was supposed to offer “unparalleled views of the Alaskan wilderness,” has now been rebranded as the SS Titanic II: The Wet and Wild Edition. Captain Jack “Drenched” McAllister commented, “We’re just going to embrace the rain. I mean, who doesn’t want to sip a piña colada while being pelted by 50 mph winds?”
Tourists are reportedly thrilled with the unexpected twist. “I came for the glaciers, but I’m leaving with a new appreciation for water sports,” said first-time cruiser Linda “Diving” Thompson. “I didn’t know I could kayak in my flip-flops!”
As the atmospheric river continues to pour, local businesses are cashing in. The “Rainy Day Café” has introduced a new menu item: the “Drenched Delight,” a sandwich that’s literally soaked in rainwater. Owner and self-proclaimed “Rain Guru,” Chuck “Cloudy” McGee, said, “It’s organic! It’s local! And it’s free with every purchase of a life jacket!”
So, if you’re planning a summer cruise to Alaska, don’t forget your umbrella, your snorkel, and maybe a flotation device. After all, who wouldn’t want to say they went on a cruise that turned into a water park adventure? Just remember: in Alaska, it’s not just the glaciers that are melting—so are your plans for a dry vacation!
