**Cuomo Promises $20 Minimum Wage for NYC if Elected Mayor: “I’ll Even Throw in Free Pizza!”**
In a shocking turn of events, former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has announced his candidacy for Mayor of New York City, promising a $20 minimum wage for all workers if elected. “I’m not just raising the bar; I’m raising the pizza slices too!” Cuomo declared at a press conference held in a pizzeria, where he was seen enthusiastically tossing dough into the air. “And if you vote for me, I’ll personally deliver a slice to your door every Friday!”
Cuomo’s campaign slogan, “Dough for the People,” has already sparked a wave of enthusiasm among New Yorkers. “I’ve always wanted to be paid in pizza,” said local barista and aspiring comedian, Tony “The Doughnut” DiMarco. “If I can get $20 an hour and a slice of pepperoni, I’ll finally be able to afford my rent and my Netflix subscription!”
Critics, however, are skeptical. “This is just another one of Cuomo’s cheesy ploys,” said political analyst and part-time magician, Wanda Vanish. “Next, he’ll promise free bagels for life. And we all know how that turned out last time!”
Cuomo’s campaign manager, a talking cat named Mr. Whiskers, added, “We’re not just raising wages; we’re raising the stakes! If you don’t vote for Cuomo, you’ll be stuck with a $15 minimum wage and no pizza. Who wants that?”
As the election heats up, one thing is clear: New Yorkers are hungry for change—and maybe a slice or two.
