**Planned Parenthood Allegedly Exploiting ‘Loophole’ for Minors’ Gender Transitions Without Parental Consent, Claims Watchdog**
In a shocking revelation that has left parents scratching their heads and teenagers rolling their eyes, a watchdog group has claimed that Planned Parenthood is allegedly exploiting a “loophole” to facilitate gender transitions for minors without parental consent. The group, known as the “Concerned Parents Against Everything” (CPAE), has raised alarms that could rival a fire drill at a middle school.
“It’s like they’re running a secret gender transition factory in the basement!” exclaimed CPAE spokesperson, Mildred Fiddlesticks, while clutching a “Save Our Children” sign that was clearly made in 1997. “I mean, what’s next? Are they going to start offering free tattoos and piercings with every hormone therapy session?”
In a bizarre twist, the watchdog claims that Planned Parenthood has been using a “magic loophole” that allows minors to transition without parental consent. “It’s like a game of Monopoly,” said local teen and self-proclaimed gender transition expert, Timmy “The Transitioner” Thompson. “You just pass ‘Go,’ collect your hormones, and avoid your parents like they’re the IRS!”
Planned Parenthood has responded with a statement that reads like a legal disclaimer for a new video game: “We follow all applicable laws and guidelines, and we’re not running a secret gender transition factory. That’s just ridiculous. We don’t even have a basement!”
Meanwhile, parents across the nation are reportedly forming support groups to discuss their feelings about their children’s newfound identities. “I just found out my son wants to be called ‘Sparkle Unicorn,’ and I’m still trying to process it,” said local mom, Karen “I’m Not Mad, Just Confused” Johnson. “I thought we were just going to have a normal teenage rebellion, like sneaking out or getting a nose ring!”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: whether it’s a loophole or a secret factory, the only thing that’s truly being exploited is the collective sense of humor of the internet. So, buckle up, America! The gender transition rollercoaster is just getting started, and it looks like it’s going to be a wild ride!
