**Senate GOP Questions Chuck Schumer on National Hamburger Day: A Grilling Debate**
In a shocking turn of events, the Senate GOP has decided to take a break from their usual legislative shenanigans to grill Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer on the pressing issue of National Hamburger Day. Yes, you read that right—while the nation grapples with inflation, healthcare, and climate change, the Senate has turned its attention to the real meat of the matter: burgers.
During a heated session, Senator Ted “The Grill Master” Cruz opened the floor with a fiery statement, “If we can’t agree on the importance of a good cheeseburger, how can we expect to unite the country?” He then proceeded to flip a burger on a portable grill he had smuggled into the Senate chamber, much to the dismay of the janitorial staff.
Schumer, clearly caught off guard, responded, “I thought we were discussing infrastructure, not the infrastructure of a good burger!” He then attempted to pivot the conversation to the importance of plant-based alternatives, only to be met with a chorus of boos and a rogue ketchup packet thrown from the back of the room.
Senator Marjorie Taylor Greene chimed in, “I demand to know if the burgers are made from American cows or if they’re imported from the ‘fake meat’ factories of China!” She then unveiled her own line of “Freedom Burgers,” which she claimed were “100% cow, 0% government.”
As the debate heated up, Senator Lindsey Graham suggested a bipartisan burger cook-off to settle the matter once and for all. “Let’s put our differences aside and see who can grill the best burger. Loser has to wear a ‘Ketchup is a Vegetable’ t-shirt for a week!”
In the end, the Senate adjourned without a resolution, but not before Schumer promised to host a “Bipartisan BBQ” next month. “I’ll bring the buns, you bring the beef, and let’s hope we can ketchup on our differences!” he quipped, leaving everyone wondering if he was talking about burgers or politics.
As the nation celebrates National Hamburger Day, one thing is clear: if Congress can’t agree on burgers, we might as well just throw in the towel and start a new political party—the Burger Party. After all, who can argue with a good cheeseburger?
