**The 2024 Presidential Alternative Many Voters Will Want: A Pet Rock**
In a shocking turn of events, political analysts have revealed that the 2024 presidential race may not be between the usual suspects, but rather a humble pet rock named Rocky. Yes, you heard it right! Rocky, a smooth, gray stone with a charming personality, has captured the hearts of voters across the nation.
“Rocky is the only candidate who doesn’t flip-flop on issues,” said local voter and self-proclaimed rock enthusiast, Betty Pebble. “He’s solid, dependable, and he never talks back. Plus, he’s great at keeping my coffee table level!”
Rocky’s campaign slogan, “No Drama, Just Granite,” has resonated with a weary electorate tired of the usual political theatrics. His platform includes promises to lower taxes by 100% (because rocks don’t pay taxes), and to build a wall around the White House to keep out bad vibes.
“Honestly, I’ve never felt more represented,” said a supporter who wished to remain anonymous. “I mean, Rocky doesn’t even have a Twitter account! Can you imagine? No tweets, no scandals, just pure rock-solid leadership!”
When asked about his foreign policy, Rocky’s campaign manager, a particularly enthusiastic squirrel named Nutty, stated, “Rocky believes in peace through strength—specifically, the strength of his mineral composition. He’s tough on crime, but soft on the eyes!”
As the election season heats up, it seems that voters are ready to roll with Rocky. After all, who wouldn’t want a president who’s always cool under pressure and never needs a nap? In a world of chaos, Rocky is the candidate that truly rocks!
