**Trump Administration Seeks SCOTUS Approval for Swift Deportations to Third Countries: “We’re Just Trying to Help!”**
In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, the Trump Administration has announced plans to seek Supreme Court approval for a new initiative: swift deportations to third countries. Yes, you heard that right—because why not send people to places they’ve never been before? It’s like a surprise vacation, but with less sunscreen and more paperwork!
“Look, we’re just trying to help,” said White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, who was seen juggling passports and a globe during the announcement. “Some people just need a little nudge to explore the world. Why not send them to, say, Antarctica? It’s beautiful this time of year, and the penguins are very welcoming!”
The proposal has sparked a flurry of reactions, with critics claiming it’s a “ridiculous” and “inhumane” approach. However, supporters are rallying behind the idea, including self-proclaimed travel expert and part-time magician, David “The Great Deportini” Copperfield. “I can make people disappear, but this is next level!” he exclaimed while pulling a rabbit out of a suitcase. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to be whisked away to a tropical paradise like… uh, Kazakhstan?”
In a bizarre twist, the administration has also suggested that deportees could be given a complimentary “Welcome to Your New Home” kit, which includes a map, a can of beans, and a coupon for a free selfie with a local goat. “It’s all about the experience,” said Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who was last seen trying to convince a goat to sign a treaty.
As the Supreme Court prepares to hear the case, the nation waits with bated breath. Will they approve this wild ride of a plan? Or will they send it packing faster than a tourist on a bad cruise? Only time will tell, but one thing’s for sure: if this goes through, we might just need to update our travel brochures.
