**American Honeymoon Destination Faces Outbreak of Contagious Illness, Health Officials Alert**
In a shocking turn of events, the picturesque town of Honeymoon Springs, known for its romantic sunsets and overpriced chocolate fountains, is facing an outbreak of a mysterious illness dubbed “Lovebug Fever.” Health officials are scrambling to contain the outbreak, which has reportedly left newlyweds feeling more “ick” than “ick-ly in love.”
Dr. Phil McCracken, the town’s chief health officer, stated, “We’ve seen a surge in symptoms like uncontrollable giggling, spontaneous slow dancing, and an overwhelming desire to post sappy couple photos on social media. It’s like a bad rom-com, but without the happy ending.”
Local honeymooners have been advised to avoid all contact with each other, which has led to some creative solutions. “We’re just going to FaceTime our vows,” said newlywed couple Brad and Janet, who were last seen trying to exchange rings through a glass window. “It’s not ideal, but at least we can still argue about whose family to visit for Thanksgiving.”
Meanwhile, Honeymoon Springs’ tourism board is trying to spin the outbreak into a marketing opportunity. “Come for the romance, stay for the quarantine!” exclaimed board member Rose Petal. “We’re even offering a ‘Love in Isolation’ package that includes a complimentary box of tissues and a lifetime supply of Netflix.”
As the outbreak continues, health officials are urging couples to practice safe romance. “Remember, folks, love is contagious, but so is this illness,” Dr. McCracken warned. “So keep your distance, and for heaven’s sake, don’t share your fries!”
In the meantime, Honeymoon Springs remains open for business, with a new slogan: “Where love is in the air… and so is a little something else!”
