**Trump Administration Directs Michigan Coal Plant to Remain Operational: “We Need More Smoke Signals!”**
In a move that has left environmentalists scratching their heads and coal miners high-fiving in the break room, the Trump Administration has officially directed the Michigan Coal Plant to remain operational. “We can’t let the coal industry die,” said Secretary of Energy, Sparky McFossil. “I mean, what else are we going to do? Use solar power? That’s just a fancy way of saying ‘let’s all sit in the dark and hope for the best!’”
The decision comes as a surprise to many, especially since the plant was scheduled to close due to its “extreme carbon footprint” and “general lack of any redeeming qualities.” But the administration insists that coal is the future—specifically, the future of smoke signals. “We need to communicate with our ancestors,” said local coal enthusiast, Bubba “The Coal King” McGriddle. “They didn’t have cell phones, and I’m pretty sure they’d want us to keep the smoke rising!”
Critics of the decision have pointed out that coal is not only bad for the environment but also a major contributor to climate change. “But have you ever tried to roast marshmallows over a solar panel?” asked local resident and self-proclaimed ‘Marshmallow Connoisseur,’ Betty “S’mores” Johnson. “I’ll take my coal any day!”
In a bizarre twist, the administration has also announced plans to launch a new reality show called “Coal Wars,” where contestants will compete to see who can create the most smoke while simultaneously avoiding environmental regulations. “It’s going to be huge!” exclaimed Trump himself during a recent rally, where he also promised to build a wall around the coal plant to keep out “bad air.”
As the Michigan Coal Plant gears up for another round of smoke-filled glory, one thing is clear: the Trump Administration is committed to keeping the coal industry alive, one puff of black smoke at a time. And who knows? Maybe they’ll even start a new trend in fashion—coal dust chic is just around the corner!
