**Chaos at North Myrtle Beach: Memorial Day Weekend Turns into a Real-Life Action Movie**
In a shocking turn of events that could only be described as “the worst beach day ever,” 11 beachgoers were injured during a shooting near North Myrtle Beach this past Memorial Day weekend. Local authorities are now on the hunt for suspects, who, according to eyewitnesses, were last seen running away while arguing over who had the best beach umbrella.
“I was just trying to enjoy my hot dog when suddenly it felt like I was in a Michael Bay film,” said local resident and self-proclaimed beach expert, Sandy Shores. “I mean, who knew that ‘shooting’ meant something other than taking selfies with your friends?”
Witnesses reported that the chaos began when a group of sunbathers, led by a man named “Bubba the Beach King,” got into a heated debate over the best sunscreen brand. “Bubba insisted on using SPF 1000, while his friend Larry ‘The Lobster’ insisted that SPF 5 was the way to go,” said another beachgoer, who wished to remain anonymous but was clearly named “Tina Tanlines.” “Things escalated quickly. One minute they were arguing, and the next, it was like a scene from ‘Fast and Furious: Beach Edition.’”
As police search for the suspects, they are reportedly following leads that include a suspicious-looking seagull and a rogue beach ball that was last seen rolling away from the scene. “We’re taking this very seriously,” said Officer Sandy Bottoms. “We’ve even called in the FBI—Fabulous Beach Investigators—to help us crack this case.”
In the meantime, local businesses are cashing in on the chaos. “We’re offering a ‘Survivor Special’ on hot dogs and sunscreen,” said the owner of the nearby beach shack, “because nothing says ‘Memorial Day’ like a hot dog and a side of trauma.”
As the search continues, one thing is clear: North Myrtle Beach will never be the same again. And if you’re planning to visit, remember to bring your SPF 1000—and maybe a helmet.
