**FBI Resumes Inquiry into Cocaine Discovered at Biden White House: A Sniff of Scandal!**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation both amused and bewildered, the FBI has announced it is resuming its inquiry into the mysterious bag of cocaine discovered at the Biden White House. Sources say the investigation is now being dubbed “Operation Sniff and Tell,” and agents are reportedly “working around the clock” to crack the case.
“Honestly, we thought it was just a really bad batch of White House coffee,” said Special Agent Phil McCracken, who is leading the investigation. “But then we realized it was actually a bag of powdered sugar from the last state dinner. Turns out, it was just a really sweet misunderstanding.”
As the inquiry unfolds, conspiracy theories are flying faster than a squirrel on espresso. Some believe the cocaine was left behind by a rogue squirrel who had infiltrated the White House grounds. “I saw it with my own eyes!” claimed local nut enthusiast and self-proclaimed animal whisperer, Betty Nutters. “That squirrel was definitely on something!”
Meanwhile, President Biden has taken to social media to address the situation, tweeting, “I’m just as confused as you are! I thought it was just a new flavor of ice cream. Who knew the White House had a ‘Cocaine Swirl’ option?”
In a bizarre twist, former President Donald Trump has offered to help with the investigation, stating, “I have the best detectives. They’re tremendous. They can find anything, even my missing socks from 2016!”
As the nation waits for answers, one thing is clear: the White House is now officially the most exciting place in America. Stay tuned for updates on this developing story, and remember, folks—if you find a suspicious bag in your own home, it’s probably just your roommate’s secret stash of powdered donuts.
