**Susan Brownmiller, Pioneering Author on Sexual Assault, Passes Away at 90: The World Loses a Legend, but Gains a New Conspiracy Theory**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the literary world reeling, Susan Brownmiller, the groundbreaking author of “Against Our Will: Men, Women, and Rape,” has passed away at the ripe old age of 90. While the world mourns the loss of a titan in feminist literature, conspiracy theorists are already hard at work, claiming she was abducted by aliens who were “just trying to understand human consent.”
Brownmiller’s work was so influential that it reportedly inspired a new genre of self-help books, including “How to Avoid Awkward Conversations About Consent at Family Gatherings” and “Rape Culture: The Musical.” In a statement, her longtime friend and fellow author, Chuck “The Unqualified” McGee, said, “Susan was a pioneer. She once told me that if you can’t convince them with facts, just throw glitter at them. It’s a metaphor for life!”
In a bizarre twist, a local psychic named Madame Zorba claimed to have communicated with Brownmiller’s spirit. “She told me she’s now working on a sequel to her book, titled ‘Against Our Will: The Afterlife Edition,’” Zorba said, adding, “And she’s really upset about the lack of Wi-Fi up here.”
As tributes pour in from around the globe, one fan was overheard saying, “I never read her book, but I’m pretty sure it’s about how to make a killer lasagna.” Clearly, the impact of Brownmiller’s work has transcended the boundaries of literature and entered the realm of culinary arts.
In the end, while Susan Brownmiller may have left this earthly plane, her legacy will live on—especially in the form of questionable conspiracy theories and lasagna recipes that no one asked for. Rest in peace, Susan. You’ve left us with more questions than answers, and we’re not sure whether to thank you or call our therapists.
