**Severe Storms Devastate Plains, Causing Damage and Power Outages Over Memorial Day Weekend: Local Residents Blame Everything from Aliens to Bad BBQ**
In a shocking turn of events, severe storms swept through the Plains this Memorial Day weekend, leaving behind a trail of destruction that has residents scratching their heads and searching for their missing lawn gnomes. The storms, which meteorologists are calling “the most dramatic thing to happen since last year’s pumpkin spice latte craze,” have caused widespread power outages and a sudden spike in the sales of board games.
Local resident and self-proclaimed weather expert, Bob “I Told You So” Thompson, was quick to blame the chaos on extraterrestrial activity. “I saw a UFO last night, and I’m pretty sure it was trying to communicate with my cat,” he said while clutching a soggy deck of Uno cards. “I mean, who else would send a storm this intense? It’s clearly a sign!”
Meanwhile, the local BBQ joint, Smokey’s Ribs, has taken a hit as well. Owner and grill master, Linda “The Sauce Boss” Jenkins, lamented, “I lost power right in the middle of my famous ribs cook-off! I had to serve cold hot dogs instead. The horror! I might as well have served them kale!”
As residents attempt to clean up the mess, many are left wondering how to cope without their beloved Wi-Fi. “I had to talk to my family for the first time in years,” said Timmy “I’m Only Here for the Wi-Fi” Johnson. “It was terrifying. I thought I was going to have to start a conversation about feelings or something!”
In the aftermath, local officials are urging residents to stay indoors and avoid any unnecessary contact with their neighbors. “We recommend binge-watching shows on whatever streaming service you can still access,” said Mayor Chuck “Stormy Weather” Thompson. “And if you see any flying saucers, just wave politely. They might be here for the ribs.”
As the storm clouds clear, one thing is certain: the Plains will never look at a barbecue the same way again. And as for the aliens? Well, they’re probably just waiting for the next big cook-off.
