**Eating Too Much of These Foods is Driving the Rise in Type 2 Diabetes, Study Says: Experts Recommend More Cake**
In a groundbreaking study released this week, scientists have confirmed what we’ve all suspected: eating too much of certain foods is driving the rise in type 2 diabetes. The study, conducted by the prestigious Institute of Overindulgence and Snackology, found that the culprits include sugary cereals, donuts, and that mysterious “mystery meat” found in school lunches.
Dr. Gluttony McSnackerson, lead researcher and self-proclaimed “Chief of Chewing,” stated, “We were shocked to discover that people who consume more than three donuts a day are at a higher risk for diabetes. Who would have thought? I mean, I thought donuts were basically health food. They have holes, which means they’re less dense, right?”
The study also revealed that the average American consumes enough pizza in a year to build a small house. “We’re not saying pizza is bad,” Dr. McSnackerson added, “but if you’re using it as a primary food group, you might want to reconsider your life choices. Or at least invest in a treadmill.”
In response to the findings, local donut shop owner and part-time philosopher, Donny Glaze, said, “I think the real problem is that people aren’t eating enough cake. Cake has layers, and layers are good for you. It’s like a salad, but with frosting!”
As the nation grapples with this shocking revelation, experts are urging everyone to take action. “Eat more cake, less donut,” Dr. McSnackerson advised. “And remember, moderation is key—unless it’s cake. Then it’s just a slice of life!”
So, folks, let’s raise our forks to a future where diabetes is just a distant memory, and cake is the new kale. After all, who needs health when you have frosting?
