**Tragic Explosion of NYC Sewage Boat in Hudson River Claims Life of City Worker, Injures Two: A Tale of Turbulent Toilets**
In a shocking turn of events that has left New Yorkers both horrified and slightly amused, a sewage boat exploded in the Hudson River yesterday, claiming the life of city worker Bob “The Turd Whisperer” Johnson and injuring two others, including a man who was just trying to fish for dinner. Witnesses reported that the explosion was so loud, it could be heard over the sound of a thousand honking taxis and a saxophonist playing “New York, New York” on the corner of 42nd Street.
“I thought it was just another Tuesday in the city,” said local resident and self-proclaimed sewage enthusiast, Linda “Flush” McGee. “But then I saw the boat go up like a Roman candle. I mean, who knew sewage could be so explosive? I always thought it was just a stinky situation!”
The boat, affectionately known as the “SS Poop Deck,” was on a routine mission to collect the city’s finest waste when disaster struck. Eyewitnesses claim that the crew was attempting to “lighten the load” by tossing out some particularly pungent cargo when the explosion occurred. “We were just trying to make the river a little less… brown,” said crew member Tim “The Waste Wrangler” O’Reilly, who was left with only minor injuries and a newfound fear of anything that floats.
Mayor Eric Adams expressed his condolences, stating, “This is a tragic loss for our city. We will honor Bob’s memory by ensuring that our sewage boats are equipped with the latest in ‘not-exploding’ technology. We owe it to our citizens—and to the fish.”
As for the injured fisherman, who was reportedly trying to catch a “big one,” he was last seen being treated for “severe emotional distress” and a minor case of “toilet water shock.” “I just wanted a nice dinner,” he lamented. “Now I’m going to have to settle for takeout. Thanks a lot, Bob!”
In the wake of this tragic incident, city officials are urging all sewage boats to undergo mandatory “explosion-proofing” and are considering a new slogan: “New York City: Where the Waste is Great, but the Explosions are Greater.”
