**German Defense Minister Warns of Possible Military Draft: “We Might Have to Start Recruiting from the Beer Gardens!”**
In a shocking announcement that has left the nation scratching its head and reaching for another pretzel, German Defense Minister Boris von Wurst has warned that if volunteer recruitment continues to decline, the country may have to resort to a military draft. “We’re not saying we want to draft anyone,” he said, adjusting his lederhosen. “But if we can’t find enough volunteers, we might have to start recruiting from the beer gardens. I mean, have you seen how fast they can chug a stein? That’s the kind of stamina we need!”
The Minister’s comments came after a recent recruitment drive fell flat, with only a handful of brave souls signing up. “We had a great plan,” said recruitment officer Helga Schnitzel, “but it turns out that promising free bratwurst and a lifetime supply of sauerkraut wasn’t enough to entice the youth. Who knew?”
In a bid to boost numbers, the Ministry is considering a new slogan: “Join the Army! It’s like Oktoberfest, but with more camouflage!” Meanwhile, local bar owner Hans “The Tank” Müller has offered to host recruitment events at his establishment. “I’ll provide the beer, and they can provide the courage!” he declared, while juggling three mugs and a bratwurst.
Critics are concerned about the implications of a draft, with one concerned citizen, Klaus “The Couch” Schmidt, stating, “I can barely get off my couch to watch the Bundesliga, let alone join the military! What’s next? Mandatory fitness classes?!”
As the nation holds its breath, one thing is clear: if the draft does happen, it’s going to be one heck of a party—just don’t forget to bring your own pretzels!
