**Trump Promises to Ban Men from Competing in Women’s Sports at West Point Commencement**
In a move that has left the nation both bewildered and chuckling, former President Donald Trump took to the podium at the West Point Commencement ceremony to announce his bold new initiative: banning men from competing in women’s sports. “It’s time to make sports great again!” he declared, as the crowd erupted in a mix of applause and confused laughter.
Wearing a cap that read “Make Sports Fair Again,” Trump explained his plan with the enthusiasm of a kid who just discovered the concept of “no boys allowed.” “We’re going to build a wall around women’s sports, and guess what? Men are going to pay for it!” he exclaimed, as the audience tried to figure out how a wall would work on a basketball court.
In a surprising twist, Trump also promised to create a new league exclusively for men who want to compete in women’s sports—tentatively titled the “Men’s Women’s Sports League.” “It’ll be huge! We’ll have the best men, the best women’s sports, and the best trophies. They’ll be so shiny, you won’t even know what sport you’re playing!” he added, gesturing wildly.
When asked for a comment, West Point cadet and aspiring Olympic athlete, Sarah “The Hammer” Johnson, said, “I just want to play sports. Can we just focus on that? Also, who’s going to explain this to my coach?”
Meanwhile, Trump’s former advisor, Kellyanne Conway, chimed in with her own take: “This is a tremendous opportunity for men to finally understand what it feels like to be on the sidelines. It’s like watching a game from the couch, but with more snacks!”
As the ceremony wrapped up, Trump concluded with a promise to “bring back the glory days of sports,” which, according to sources, were last seen somewhere between the invention of the javelin and the rise of competitive eating.
In the end, one thing is clear: whether you’re a fan of sports or just enjoy a good laugh, Trump’s latest announcement has certainly scored a few points in the game of absurdity.
