**New Arrest Made in Ongoing Investigation of New Orleans Jail Escape: Suspect Claims He Was Just “Testing the Waters”**
In a shocking twist to the ongoing investigation of the New Orleans jail escape that has captivated the nation, authorities have made a new arrest. Local resident and self-proclaimed “professional couch potato,” Larry “The Escape Artist” McGee, was apprehended after he allegedly attempted to break into a local bakery to “test his skills” following the infamous jailbreak.
“I was just trying to see if I could escape from a donut shop,” McGee explained while munching on a powdered sugar beignet. “You know, like a practice run. I figured if I could evade the pastry police, I could evade anyone!”
The New Orleans Police Department (NOPD) is still piecing together how a group of inmates managed to escape last week, but sources say they were last seen riding bicycles down Bourbon Street, wearing matching Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses. “It was like a scene from a bad buddy cop movie,” said Officer Jane Doughnut, who was on the scene. “I mean, who escapes from jail and then goes to a bar for a daiquiri? That’s just poor planning!”
In a bizarre turn of events, McGee claims he was inspired by the escapees. “I thought, if they can do it, why can’t I? I mean, I’ve been training for this my whole life—mostly by binge-watching prison break shows on Netflix.”
Authorities are now investigating whether McGee had any connection to the original escapees, who are still at large and reportedly living their best lives in a beach house somewhere in the Caribbean. “We’re following leads,” said Detective Lou “The Lobster” Crustacean. “But if they’re sipping piña coladas, we might just let them enjoy their freedom.”
As for McGee, he’s been charged with attempted burglary and is currently awaiting trial. “I just wanted to see if I could get a free donut,” he lamented. “Is that a crime now?!”
In the meantime, the NOPD has issued a warning: “If you see anyone wearing a Hawaiian shirt and riding a bike, please call us immediately. They might be on the run… or just really bad at fashion.”
